Ahoy ye lubbers, take heed of this here post or ye be kissing the gunners daughter!

As many of you know last Sunday was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. This has to be one of the best holidays of all time! My post today is a compilation of multiple internet sources on "pirate speak". I have placed it in my blog to share my joy of talking piratical with you and to also make sure I have this stuff archived for next September 19th. It's long, but fun!


Addled -- Mad, insane, or just stupid. An "addlepate" is a fool.

Aft -- Short for "after." Toward the rear of the ship.

Ahoy -- "Hello!"

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show, it sucked!" and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Avast! -- "Hey!" Could be used as "Stop that!" or "Who goes there?"

Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."

Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.

Begad! -- By God!

Belay -- Stop that. "Belay that talk!" would mean "Shut up!"

Belaying pin -- A short wooden rod to which a ship's rigging is secured. A common improvised weapon aboard a sailing ship, because they're everywhere, they're easily picked up, and they are the right size and weight to be used as clubs.

Bilge! -- Nonsense, or foolish talk. The bilges of a ship are the lowest parts, inside the hull along the keel. They fill with stinking bilgewater -- or just "bilge."

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship

Bilge-sucking -- A very uncomplimentary adjective.

Black Spot -- To "place the Black Spot" on another pirate is to sentence him to death, to warn him he is marked for death, or sometimes just to accuse him of a serious crime before other pirates.

Blaggard -- "Blackguard." An insult.

Blimey! -- An exclamation of surprise.

“Blow the man down” – To kill someone.

Booty -- Loot.

Bosun -- Boatswain; a petty officer.

Bowsprit -- The slanted spar at a ship's prow.

Brethren of the Coast -- The Caribbean buccaneers called themselves by this name in the 1640-1680 period. During this time, they actually formed a sort of fraternity, and did not (usually) fight each other or even steal from each other. After 1680, a new generation of pirates appeared, who did not trust each other . . . with good reason.

Bring ‘em Near—A telescope.

Briny deep -- The ocean. Probably no pirate in all history ever used this phrase, but don't let that stop you, especially if you can roll the R in "briny"!

Buccaneer -- A general term for the Caribbean pirates.

Bucko -- Familiar term. "Me bucko" = "my friend."

Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it!

Cackle Fruit—Hen’s eggs.

Cap'n -- Short for "captain."

Cat o'nine tails, or just "cat" -- a whip with many lashes, used for flogging. "A taste of the cat" might refer to a full flogging, or just a single blow to "smarten up" a recalcitrant hand.

Chandler, or ship-chandler -- see Sutler.

Chantey -- A sailor's work song. Also spelled "shantey" or "shanty."

Chase -- The ship being pursued. "The chase is making full sail, sir" = "The ship we're after is going as fast as she can."

Chest -- Traditional treasure container.

Corsair -- A more romantic term for pirate. But still a pirate.

Crow's nest -- A small platform, sometimes enclosed, near the top of a mast, where a lookout could have a better view when watching for sails or for land.

Cutlass -- A curved sword, like a saber but heavier. Traditional pirate weapon. Has only one cutting edge; may or may not have a useful point.

“Dance the hempen jig”—To hang.

Davy Jones' locker -- The bottom of the sea.

Deadlights -- Eyes. "Use yer deadlights, matey!"

Dead men tell no tales -- Standard pirate excuse for leaving no survivors.

Dog -- A mild insult, perhaps even a friendly one.

Doubloon -- A Spanish gold coin. At different times, it was worth either 4 or 16 silver pesos, or "pieces of eight."

Fair winds! -- Goodbye, good luck!.

Feed the fish -- What you do when you are thrown into the sea, dead or alive.

Gangway! -- "Get out of my way!"

Gibbet Cage—Chains in which the corpses of pirates were hung and displayed in order to discourage piracy in others.

Godspeed! -- Goodbye, good luck!

Grog -- Generically, any alcoholic drink. Specifically, rum diluted with water to make it go farther.

Grub -- Food.

Gun -- A cannon.

Fore, or forrard -- Toward the front end of the ship.

Flogging -- Punishment by caning, or by whipping with the cat.

Hands -- The crew of a ship; sailors.

Handsomely -- Quickly. "Handsomely now, men!" = "Hurry up!"

Head -- The toilet facilities aboard a modern ship. This will do for modern piratical talk. The toilet facilities aboard an ACTUAL pirate ship do not bear thinking about.

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do.

Hornswaggle—To cheat

Jack Ketch -- The hangman. To dance with Jack Ketch is to hang.

Jack Tar, or tar -- A sailor.

Jollyboat -- A small but happy craft, perhaps even one which is a little dinghy.

Jolly Roger -- The pirates' skull-and-crossbones flag. It was an invitation to surrender, with the implication that those who surrendered would be treated well. A red flag indicated "no quarter."

Keelhaul -- Punishment by dragging under the ship, from one side to the other. The victim of a keelhauling would be half-drowned, or worse, and lacerated by the barnacles that grew beneath the ship.

Kiss the gunner's daughter -- A punishment: to be bent over one of the ship's guns and flogged.

Lad, lass, lassie -- A way to address someone younger than you.

Landlubber or just lubber -- A non-sailor.

Letters of Marque -- Papers issued by a national government during wartime, entitling a privately owned ship to raid enemy commerce, or even attack enemy warships. Early letters of reprisal were issued to merchants to make it legal for them to counter-raid pirates! A ship bearing such letters, and operating within their limits, is a privateer rather than a pirate . . . that is, a legal combatant rather than a criminal and murderer. The problem is that letters of marque aren't always honored, even by the government that issued them. Captain Kidd had letters of marque; his own country hanged him anyway.

Lights -- Lungs. A pirate might threaten to "have someone's lights and liver."

Line -- A rope in use as part of the ship's rigging, or as a towing line. When a rope is just coiled up on deck, not yet being used for anything, it's all right to call it a rope.

Lookout -- Someone posted to keep watch on the horizon for other ships or signs of land.

Maroon -- A fairly common punishment for violation of a pirate ship's articles, or offending her crew. The victim was left on a deserted coast (or, of course, an island) with little in the way of supplies. That way, no one could say that the unlucky pirate had actually been killed by his former brethren.

Me -- A piratical way to say "my."

Me hearties -- Typical way for a pirate leader to address his crew.

“Measure ye fer yer chains”—To be outfitted for a gibbet cage.

Matey -- A piratical way to address someone in a cheerful, if not necessarily friendly, fashion.

No quarter! -- Surrender will not be accepted.

On the Account -- The piratical life. A man who went "on the account" was turning pirate.

Piece of eight -- A Spanish silver coin worth one peso or 8 reales. It was sometimes literally cut into eight pieces, each worth one real.

Pillage -- To raid, rob, and sack a target ashore.

Pirate -- A seagoing robber and murderer. Contrast with privateer.

Poop deck -- The highest deck at the aft end of a large ship. Smaller ships don't have a poop; the highest part aft is the quarterdeck.

Port -- (1) A seaport. (2) The left side of the ship when you are facing toward her prow.

Poxy, poxed -- Diseased. Used as an insult.

Privateer -- A ship bearing letters of marque (q.v.), or one of her crew, or her captain. Thus, she can only attack an enemy ship, and only in time of war, but does so as a representative of her country. A privateer is theoretically a law-abiding combatant, and entitled to be treated as an honorable prisoner if captured.

Prow -- The "nose" of the ship.

Red Ensign—British flag.

Reef -- (1) An underwater obstruction of rock or coral which can tear the bottom out of a ship. (2) To reef sails is to shorten them, tying them partially up, either to slow the ship or to keep a strong wind from putting too much strain on the masts.

Rope's end -- another term for flogging. "Ye'll meet the rope's end for that, me bucko!"

Rum (noun) -- Traditional pirate drink.

Rum (adjective) -- Strange or odd. A "rum fellow" is a peculiar person, the sort who won't say "Arrrr!" on Talk Like A Pirate Day.

“Run a rig”—To play a trick.

Sail ho! -- "I see a ship!" The sail, of course, is the first part of a ship visible over the horizon.

Salt, old salt -- An experienced seaman.

Scallywag—A villainous or mischievous person.

Scuppers -- Openings along the edges of a ship's deck that allow water on deck to drain back to the sea rather than collecting in the bilges. "Scupper that!" is an expression of anger or derision: "Throw that overboard!"

Scurvy -- (1) A deficiency disease which often afflicted sailors; it was caused by lack of vitamin C. (2) A derogatory adjective suitable for use in a loud voice, as in "Ye scurvy dogs!"

Sea dog -- An experienced seaman.

Shanty -- Another spelling for "chantey" - a sea song.

Shark bait -- (1) Your foes, who are about to feed the fish (q.v.). (2) A worthless or lazy sailor; a lubber who is no use aboard ship.

Shipshape -- Well-organized, under control, finished.

Shiver me timbers! -- An expression of surprise or strong emotion.

Sink me! -- An expression of surprise.

Smartly -- Quickly. "Smartly there, men!" = "Hurry up!"

Splice the mainbrace -- To have a drink. Or, perhaps, several drinks.

Spyglass -- A telescope.

Starboard -- The right side of the ship when you are facing toward her prow.

Sutler -- A merchant in port, selling the various things that a ship needed for supplies and repairs.

Swab (noun) -- A disrespectful term for a seaman. "Man that gun, ye cowardly swabs!"

Swab (verb) -- To clean something. Being put to "swabbing the decks" would be a low-level punishment for a disobedient pirate.

Swag -- Loot.

Swing the Lead - The Lead was a weight at the bottom of a line that gave sailors a way to measure depth when near land. To Swing the Lead was considered a simple job, and thusly came to represent one who is avoiding work or taking the easy work over the hard. In todays terms, one who swings the lead is a slacker.

Take a Caulk - on deck of a ship, between planks, was a thick caulk of black tar and rope to keep water from between decks. This term came to mean to "take a nap" either because sailors who slept on deck ended up with black lines across their backs or simply because sailors laying down on deck were as horizontal as the caulk of the deck itself.

Walk the plank -- A piratical execution. The victim, usually blindfolded or with bound hands or both, is forced to walk along a plank laid over the ship's side, to fall into the water below. Except this seems to be a total invention; it first appeared in 19th-century fiction, long after the great days of piracy.

Weigh anchor -- To haul the anchor up; more generally, to leave port.

Wench -- An individual of the female persuasion. "Saucy" is a good adjective to add to this, and if ye can get away with "Me proud beauty!," more power to ye.

Yo-ho-ho -- A very piratical thing to say, whether it actually means anything or not.

Chapter 1, Part 3

After graduating from high school my world and political beliefs began to change. Two specific things happened in my life that pointed me in a new direction. First, I started to pay taxes. You start to scrutinize the person holding the purse strings to your paycheck a lot more, when you stop getting all of your money back at the end of the year. The second thing that happened to me was that I fell in love. During my last semester of high school I began to date a lovely young woman that would eventually become my wife. She too grew up in an upper-middle class conservative home. Unlike myself, who had rejected my right wing upbringing, Renee fully embraced her conservative heritage. Instead of rocking out to Genesis and Bruce Springsteen in her sharp looking Nissan 240SX, she was an avid listener of talk radio and knew that Rush was “always right.” We would have grand debates, I mean dates, where we would discuss various topics of world importance. Slowly I began to be swayed to see her point on many issues. Mostly due to the fact that then and even now I cannot best her in a war of words.

Chapter 1, Part 2

I became a full-fledged politician as a freshman in high school. That was the year I ran for student senate. I was not extremely popular. I wasn’t a tremendous athlete. Nor did I date the prettiest girl in school. Even with the full knowledge of my sociopolitical status amongst my peers I believed I still had a shot at winning one of the six seats. My campaign manager (my father) came up with a great campaign strategy. We decided to go simple. Borrowing from the British pop group Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s promotional campaign “Frankie Says. . .” , we made posters, buttons and t-shirts with large black letters on white backgrounds that said, “Roger Says . . .Vote For Me” or more humorous ones that said “Roger Says . . . Eat Broccoli or Watch Cartoons”. The humor must have been lost to my classmates, because I lost the election. This began my long stretch of cynicism towards politics.
“Finding” yourself in high school is a daunting task for anyone. Our family has moved back to the conservative Midwest where I attended a high school filled largely with upper middle students. It was the type of school and community that surrounding school systems loved to hate. We won just about every state championship we entered. From marching band to football or from show choir to swimming, it was hard to beat my aulmumater at anything. The students at my school were stereotyped as spoiled rich suburban white kids. And seeing as how I knew three students during my junior year that all drove Porsche’s to school every morning, that stereotype was rooted in some form of truth. To say my adolescent years were formed in the midst of the conservative right would be an understatement. As I searched to find my place among the privileged and well to do, I found myself gravitating towards the students for what ever socio-economic reasons found themselves at the bottom of the social hierarchy at my school. I was a punk. Well, at school I was a punk. While riding the bus or in a friends car to school I would change from my yuppie Izod tennis polo (with collar popped) into bleached out, cut up jeans with my Clash concert t-shirt. I led a dual existence. At home I was a bible study attending, well-mannered, quasi-conservative young man. But at school I was a We Are The World, free Nelson Mandela, damn the man liberal. My parents did have some idea of my political leanings. Our political conversations would always end with my father excusing my viewpoints by saying something like, “If you’re not a liberal at 16 you don’t have a heart and if you’re not a conservative at 35 you’re just stupid.” I don’t think my views at this stage in life could be called true convictions. I was into being anti-, well anti-just-about-everything because I thought it was a great way to meet girls. I remember a specific occasion of me traveling to the convention center of our state capital to protest the appearance of Ronald Reagan (one of our greatest presidents of all time) at an Amway business meeting. I had heard that a young lady I wanted to get to know better was going to be there so I went. I believe the protesters were upset about nuclear weapons traveling across the US by rail car or something like that. Heck, it would not have mattered to me if we had been protesting peoples rights to choose Pepsi over Coke in a blind taste test, I was there for the chicks. About the only activism I remember performing in my high school years that didn’t have alterior motives was my coordinating a mile of people in the “Hands Across America” movement. I sure could talk a good game about being liberal, but when push came to shove I wasn’t acting out my supposed convictions.

Chapter 1, Part 1

November 4th, 1975 was the date of the first political conversation I can recall having with my parents. I remember sitting in the back seat of the family’s wood paneled station wagon with my brother and sister waiting for my parents to come out of a local church near our home. As we drove off to dinner after their return, our parents explained that they had just voted for whom they wanted to be the next President of the United States. Being six years old and with a limited understanding of the conversation, I asked the simplest and what I thought was the most obvious question, “Who did you vote for?” My father proceeded to give me my first civics lesson. He explained that voting was a private matter and that you don’t have to tell others who you voted for. Looking back I’m sure this was my fathers attempt to not force his views on us, that we might grow up forming our own opinions about life and the world around us.

My next childhood memory of politics came four years later. My family and I had moved from the conservative Midwest to upstate New York. With the American Hostage situation in Iran and what the Republicans called the misery index (inflation plus unemployment) it seemed the chances for President Carter to win reelection were slim to none. During my third grade teacher’s presentation on the presidential elections, I nominated myself official pollster of our class. While the teacher spoke, I quietly wrote both candidates names next to each other on a piece of paper with the word “VOTE” written at the top. I placed a check mark under my candidate of choice and passed the paper around the class. Like the election its self, our third grade classroom straw poll had Ronald Regan beating President Carter by a margin of ten to one. I’m not sure why I voted the way I did that day. It may have been due to my conservative right wing up bringing. Or it may have just been I had some understanding from watching the news and listening to adults around me that what ever was going on in this country wasn’t good and it was time for a change. Regardless of how I voted, it would be the last time I would vote in a presidential election for a long time.

The blog, the blog is back!

After a long stint away from this blogging thing, I am back. I took some time over the past couple of months to do some healing. I am physically, emotionally and spiritually in a better place now. During some of my "free" time this past summer I started on a book. Over the course of the next several days I will be posting the first chapter of my work. At well over 3000 words, I thought it would come across better to you all in smaller chunks. As always, please feel free to comment and critique what you find here.

"Arm the homeless"